Monday, April 30, 2012

I Will Not Be Shaken


Winds pull and tug
The earth trembles and shakes
Sleet stings and soaks
I sway, I stumble

Scraped knees
Bleeding hands
Streaming tears
Crushed heart

I can’t stand alone
Not by myself
But with His help
I will not be shaken

Beaten, battered and bruised
Attacked and under fire
I’m standing firm
I will not be shaken

I refuse to lose my faith
I’m clinging to my hope
I’ll stand till my strength is gone
But it won’t last long

Agonizing pain steals my breath
Paralyzed, I cry for help
Overcome the foe
Open up the door

Shield my heart
Heal my wounds
Make me strong
Lift me up

They tear at my heart
And claw at my soul
Pressed to my knees
I still won’t be shaken

Doubts assault my walls
Worries bypass defenses
Questions shake confidence
I will not be shaken

Help me, LORD!
I’m trembling, shaking
My strength is weak
I’m on the urge of shattering

I will not be shaken
He holds my hand
I will not stand down
Victory is His

 I will not lose my faith
Or stumble to the ground
He stands beside me
Defender of the weak

I will not be shaken
I will not stand down
With the LORD’s help
I will hold my ground


-To God be the glory. Reminiscent of Psalm 62

Sunday, April 29, 2012

The Conversation


I know this may be a girl thing, but I have suspicions that guys enjoy this as well; they just don’t talk about it like girls do. But, don’t you just love when you can have a good, long conversation with a close friend? Do you know what I’m talking about? Where you sit and listen to what’s going on in your friend’s life. The little things, the hard things, whatever comes up.  And then they do the same for you. You can talk about anything. It’s all comfortable. You know you’re safe. You know the other person cares and that you won’t be rejected or judged. It’s a great feeling. After a conversation like that, everything looks better.

I find myself missing out on this in my relationship with God. In our society, and culture, we’re constantly carrying on trivial conversations with each other. And we often need to have heart-to-hearts to keep ourselves sane. But, I don’t do this with God. Sure, I think about him, I try to pray to him. But it isn’t a conversation.

My grandma has a favorite saying she likes to rebuke us grandkids with when she thinks we’re being antisocial. She says, “Conversations is like a game of catch. You can’t hold onto it, you have to pass it back.” And she’s right, no matter how much that rubbed the wrong way when she offered it as advice. When you have a conversation, you share a little bit of yourself with someone who returns the gift. You give and you get. You learn and you teach. After talking with someone, you know them better than before.
Why don’t we talk with God? How are we supposed to know him if we don’t speak with him? How are we supposed to know what he’s like, and what his perspective on everything is, if we give him the cold shoulder? Now...there are several ways to carry on a conversation with God. He reveals himself to use through the beauty of his creation. His actual words in the Bible. And how the Holy Spirit works in us and in our daily circumstances.

Have you ever thought about luck? People attribute a lot of things to our friend Luck. Now, Luck has an evil twin, as I’m sure you’ve heard. So between him and his twin, they encompass just about everything good and bad random things that happen to us. Funny thing about that. Luck, doesn’t exist. Every good and perfect thing comes from our Lord. It’s not luck, it’s God. What about the bad? Well... Our world is fallen, bad is the sad, unnatural state of things at the moment, and will remain so until the day that our Savior returns. The little things that people commonly attribute to Luck, they’re really God’s work. If we would take notice, and give him the credit, we would see his hand in things so much more.

Now, back to the conversation. The hypothetical ball of our conversation with God rests in our hands. How do we pass it? How do we get it back? Praying is a funny thing. It’s associated with pleading and groveling to God. Now, I don’t mean that in a bad way... But when you pray you’re supposed to confess your sins, throw a couple of praises in, and make your petitions.  Now I’m generalizing, and I know that’s shallow, the truth is, that’s what my perspective loosely was about a year ago. I knew praying was serious, but it was also forced.

But, my perspective is being molded into something new. Prayer is you expressing yourself. It’s not something you have to do, it’s something you get to do (Yes Dad, I heard you all the times you gave me the have/get line). It’s explaining your joys, troubles, and turbulent emotions to someone who is always listening, always trustworthy, infinitely loving, and impossibly wise. Someone who wants to hear your thoughts. Who will listen to your requests. It’s a beautiful, instant access to someone who’s better than best and always knows what the right answer is. His answers aren’t usually words, but the little things that we tend to overlook. The verse we read that morning, a story someone tells, a small event that creates a ray of light. Often, I find after unburdening my heart, I find a sense of peace, a lifting of a weight. Amazingly similar to when I’ve had a talk with a friend (Coincidence? I think not).

My question is, why does it take trouble for us to realize we’ve dropped the conversation? We’re clutching the ball and watching the world instead of focusing on the glorious Savior who’s right in front of us. Only after he’s ‘hello-ed’ us a couple of times, and maybe snapped his finger in front of our unfocused gaze do we start and turn back to him. Why does it happen? Because of the forced feeling? Because we don’t look for responses? Why?

Perhaps we don’t concentrate? We’re too easily distracted, even by our own minds. But we can ask the Holy Spirit to help us with that. What excuse do we have? We have a flawless ear turned to our hearts, already knowing what’s inside of us, yet still loving. He’s right there, waiting for you to pass the ball. All you have to do is turn back to him.

So...I believe we’ve discovered I have a lot to say on this matter. And I think that’s enough for now. I may revisit this topic again in the near, or distant, future. But either way, I’d like to leave you with a challenge, and some verses: 

I want to pray continually. I wear a bracelet with ‘Yahweh’ inscribed on it, as a visual reminder of my God—in an effort to pray more. Yet, I still find myself forgetting about God during my day-to-day life. I don’t want to turn to him when I’m in trouble; I want to already be safe in his arms. I want peace and assurance so I can have inexpressible joy in my barely comprehensible salvation until I practically radiate his light.  Remember him. Talk to your Savior and Friend.

 “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guards your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. “ –Philippians 4:4-7

“Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Focus

I have weak eyes. Not in the sense of vision, but my eye muscles are physically weak. It’s a type of convergence disorder where my eyes have trouble focusing together to form one image for my brain. When I was first diagnosed with this, I was often seeing two when I was reading or looking at things that were fairly close to me. To address the problem, I had to do about six months of eye therapy. This consisted of eye exercises to strengthen my eyes and train them to work together. After that, I could see fine, until college hit. After the first couple of months, I was experiencing the same symptoms and eye strain. It turns out that my eyes were being overworked and now I have to do eye therapy at least once a week or my eyes get tired and I struggle to focus what I'm seeing.

Focus is something that everyone struggles with. It’s your reasoning, your actions, your priorities and goals. Being in college, I’ve found that my focus is directed towards the path to preparing myself for a job and life. This translates into which classes I take, what activities I do, how much time I spend on homework, and when I go to bed.  Recently though, God has been working through my daily quiet times, messages I’ve heard at Church and Chapel (My university has chapel every school day; it’s awesome), and just through conversations with some of my close friends.  My focus needs to be shifted—trained.

My perspective on life is skewed and distorted. My focus is on my needs and wants—things like getting good grades and enough sleep to function, how I feel each day—nothing is wrong with these things, but they are often my focus. Paul’s words in Romans rocked me,
“For I could wish that I myself were cursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers, those of my own race” –Romans 9:3
Paul loved so much, that he would give up his salvation for his fellow Jews. He loved like Christ did. As the Jesus commanded, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all you might. And love your neighbor as yourself.” My focus needs to change in response. I've been saved and redeemed from my sins. I’m called to live out my life for the glory of my Savior and to share the joy he’s given me. I’m called to be a servant-leader. My focus needs to be on God, then others. I need to leave my needs and desires in God’s hand, to trust that he will take care of them.

Just like I did, and do, have to do eye therapy to keep my focus, I also need to constantly check myself against the Bible. I need to train my perspective and build habits that moves my attention from me to those my life can impact.

Change to the glory of God.

~Ericka

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Introductions...

Well... My first blog. Why do I have a blog? This is interesting. I want to have a place to put all the stuff jumbled in my head out there. But I don't really want anyone to read it. Hm...
Well, a few things you should know if you're going to read my blog:
A) I promise not to talk about the same thing more than thrice
2. I may use some humor
III I haven't read very many blogs. So... I suppose I could read yours, but I don't have all that much time being in college and such
Four, I love to write. Period, end of story.
Am I bugging you yet?
Nice to meet you, welcome to my blog. I may change stuff around a lot.

A Daughter of the King,
Ericka