A Hand in My Life: More than luck

I can't say exactly when I noticed it. My parents raised me to recognize what most people called "luck" as God's blessings. But in the past few months, I see my Jesus' hand everywhere. More than just the bigger, obvious things. But in the bad days, in the stress, in heartache; in everyday moments.

To be honest, this semester has been stressful, overwhelming and simply exhausting so far. Now, don't mistake me. I love college and learning. Being a sophomore is great. And I like the material in my classes. But the amount of work had been wearing me down. Thank goodness that's not where I'm stuck at. God's been working in my life. In the little things. In crazy ways.

Almost two weeks ago, I was so stressed out over my workload that I was almost to the point where I couldn't get anything done. I'd tried multiple times, over a couple of days, to give it to God, like I knew I needed to, but I couldn't get rid of that anxious feeling. At one point, I sat down with my computer, on my bed, to do some homework, and an ant craws across my hand. I slap it, disgusted. I really, really hate bugs. Then...there's another one. And another one. And soon I realize they're crawling around under my computer keys. Yes. I'll say it again.

Ants in my computer!!!

This ontop of the stress makes me almost freak out. I start asking--demanding almost in tears really--God, "Why? Why would you let this happen? What is going on?" And...strangely enough, I got this really weird and kind of disconcerting feeling that He was laughing at me. And then, I just knew what He was telling me. He said (not in an audible voice, but these are the paraphrased thoughts/words/concepts that popped into my head, thank you Holy Spirit) "I am so much bigger than ants in your computer. Than your homework. I've got you in my hand. Why are you stressing out?" After that, my stress was gone. And I'm still plugging through my assignments today. He has and is sustaining me. I killed about fourteen ants that afternoon. I don't know how they got in there, and I haven't seen any since. But it's a mark in my life, and a lesson from God, that I will cling to for a long time.

This isn't the only instance I've seen or felt God work lately. A moved meeting that I missed (God providing me time), His taking care of my dad, a passage of the Bible before a hard day... Little things that mean so much. I recently saw this photo on facebook:

And it is so true. With God, even a bad day is not that bad. He loves me enough to carry me through when I can't do it. And teach me even when I dig in my feet.

Many of the Paslmists reconize that God is in control. But even beyond that concept, God takes care of you. He loves you, He provides for you. If you ask Him to open your eyes to what He's doing, and look for it, it's amazing what you'll notice. Here's a few parting verses that remind me of how much God loves me. Please, think about where God is working in your life.

"And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience—among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." Ephesians 2:1-10

God is blessing you. Look for it.

Through Him alone,
Ericka

Triumphant

Well, I did it. I survived my first year of college.

And I can't believe it's already been a year. It seems like just yesterday I showed up on campus, so clueless in the face of so many unknowns, and now I'm leaving a veteran, a sophomore. I've learned a lot. And not only academically, but also about life and my relationship with God and others. I'm not the same person I was this time last year.

What a bittersweet moment. The stress and pressure are gone, evaporated as things are completed. And now, I have a few days to rest and recuperate before throwing myself into my many summer plans and goals. But I'll miss the people who I've spent the past nine months with.

It's scary how fast time passes. Even when the days seem long and somewhat monotonous, time is racing by. Treasure your moments. Live in the now, with a perspective set on eternity. Don't let your past control you or your future monopolize your energy. Live for others, by God's strength, to make a difference and let the almighty Lord take care of everything else.

Use your time wisely, cause it's gone in the blink of an eye.

The Conversation

I know this may be a girl thing, but I have suspicions that guys enjoy this as well; they just don’t talk about it like girls do. But, don’t you just love when you can have a good, long conversation with a close friend? Do you know what I’m talking about? Where you sit and listen to what’s going on in your friend’s life. The little things, the hard things, whatever comes up.  And then they do the same for you. You can talk about anything. It’s all comfortable. You know you’re safe. You know the other person cares and that you won’t be rejected or judged. It’s a great feeling. After a conversation like that, everything looks better.

I find myself missing out on this in my relationship with God. In our society, and culture, we’re constantly carrying on trivial conversations with each other. And we often need to have heart-to-hearts to keep ourselves sane. But, I don’t do this with God. Sure, I think about him, I try to pray to him. But it isn’t a conversation.

My grandma has a favorite saying she likes to rebuke us grandkids with when she thinks we’re being antisocial. She says, “Conversations is like a game of catch. You can’t hold onto it, you have to pass it back.” And she’s right, no matter how much that rubbed the wrong way when she offered it as advice. When you have a conversation, you share a little bit of yourself with someone who returns the gift. You give and you get. You learn and you teach. After talking with someone, you know them better than before.

Why don’t we talk with God? How are we supposed to know him if we don’t speak with him? How are we supposed to know what he’s like, and what his perspective on everything is, if we give him the cold shoulder? Now...there are several ways to carry on a conversation with God. He reveals himself to use through the beauty of his creation. His actual words in the Bible. And how the Holy Spirit works in us and in our daily circumstances.

Have you ever thought about luck? People attribute a lot of things to our friend Luck. Now, Luck has an evil twin, as I’m sure you’ve heard. So between him and his twin, they encompass just about everything good and bad random things that happen to us. Funny thing about that. Luck, doesn’t exist. Every good and perfect thing comes from our Lord. It’s not luck, it’s God. What about the bad? Well... Our world is fallen, bad is the sad, unnatural state of things at the moment, and will remain so until the day that our Savior returns. The little things that people commonly attribute to Luck, they’re really God’s work. If we would take notice, and give him the credit, we would see his hand in things so much more.

Now, back to the conversation. The hypothetical ball of our conversation with God rests in our hands. How do we pass it? How do we get it back? Praying is a funny thing. It’s associated with pleading and groveling to God. Now, I don’t mean that in a bad way... But when you pray you’re supposed to confess your sins, throw a couple of praises in, and make your petitions.  Now I’m generalizing, and I know that’s shallow, the truth is, that’s what my perspective loosely was about a year ago. I knew praying was serious, but it was also forced.

But, my perspective is being molded into something new. Prayer is you expressing yourself. It’s not something you have to do, it’s something you get to do (Yes Dad, I heard you all the times you gave me the have/get line). It’s explaining your joys, troubles, and turbulent emotions to someone who is always listening, always trustworthy, infinitely loving, and impossibly wise. Someone who wants to hear your thoughts. Who will listen to your requests. It’s a beautiful, instant access to someone who’s better than best and always knows what the right answer is. His answers aren’t usually words, but the little things that we tend to overlook. The verse we read that morning, a story someone tells, a small event that creates a ray of light. Often, I find after unburdening my heart, I find a sense of peace, a lifting of a weight. Amazingly similar to when I’ve had a talk with a friend (Coincidence? I think not).

My question is, why does it take trouble for us to realize we’ve dropped the conversation? We’re clutching the ball and watching the world instead of focusing on the glorious Savior who’s right in front of us. Only after he’s ‘hello-ed’ us a couple of times, and maybe snapped his finger in front of our unfocused gaze do we start and turn back to him. Why does it happen? Because of the forced feeling? Because we don’t look for responses? Why?

Perhaps we don’t concentrate? We’re too easily distracted, even by our own minds. But we can ask the Holy Spirit to help us with that. What excuse do we have? We have a flawless ear turned to our hearts, already knowing what’s inside of us, yet still loving. He’s right there, waiting for you to pass the ball. All you have to do is turn back to him.

So...I believe we’ve discovered I have a lot to say on this matter. And I think that’s enough for now. I may revisit this topic again in the near, or distant, future. But either way, I’d like to leave you with a challenge, and some verses: 

I want to pray continually. I wear a bracelet with ‘Yahweh’ inscribed on it, as a visual reminder of my God—in an effort to pray more. Yet, I still find myself forgetting about God during my day-to-day life. I don’t want to turn to him when I’m in trouble; I want to already be safe in his arms. I want peace and assurance so I can have inexpressible joy in my barely comprehensible salvation until I practically radiate his light.  Remember him. Talk to your Savior and Friend.

 “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guards your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. “ –Philippians 4:4-7

“Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Focus

I have weak eyes. Not in the sense of vision, but my eye muscles are physically weak. It’s a type of convergence disorder where my eyes have trouble focusing together to form one image for my brain. When I was first diagnosed with this, I was often seeing two when I was reading or looking at things that were fairly close to me. To address the problem, I had to do about six months of eye therapy. This consisted of eye exercises to strengthen my eyes and train them to work together. After that, I could see fine, until college hit. After the first couple of months, I was experiencing the same symptoms and eye strain. It turns out that my eyes were being overworked and now I have to do eye therapy at least once a week or my eyes get tired and I struggle to focus what I'm seeing.

Focus is something that everyone struggles with. It’s your reasoning, your actions, your priorities and goals. Being in college, I’ve found that my focus is directed towards the path to preparing myself for a job and life. This translates into which classes I take, what activities I do, how much time I spend on homework, and when I go to bed.  Recently though, God has been working through my daily quiet times, messages I’ve heard at Church and Chapel (My university has chapel every school day; it’s awesome), and just through conversations with some of my close friends.  My focus needs to be shifted—trained.

My perspective on life is skewed and distorted. My focus is on my needs and wants—things like getting good grades and enough sleep to function, how I feel each day—nothing is wrong with these things, but they are often my focus. Paul’s words in Romans rocked me,

“For I could wish that I myself were cursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers, those of my own race” –Romans 9:3

Paul loved so much, that he would give up his salvation for his fellow Jews. He loved like Christ did. As the Jesus commanded, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all you might. And love your neighbor as yourself.” My focus needs to change in response. I've been saved and redeemed from my sins. I’m called to live out my life for the glory of my Savior and to share the joy he’s given me. I’m called to be a servant-leader. My focus needs to be on God, then others. I need to leave my needs and desires in God’s hand, to trust that he will take care of them.

Just like I did, and do, have to do eye therapy to keep my focus, I also need to constantly check myself against the Bible. I need to train my perspective and build habits that moves my attention from me to those my life can impact.

Change to the glory of God.

~Ericka